1. Replace the phone with a remote control.

Most phone time is spent picking up the phone and unlocking the keypad and then locking it again. If you find a remote control of a similar weight, you can feel the weight in your bag or pockets and pick it up occasionally, push some buttons and then put it back. You are likely to receive the same amount of messages.

This is a healthy substitute. It’s a bit like using nicorette chewing gum.

2. Just show up.

Yeah that’s right, don’t call ahead, BBM or What’s App, just rock up at your friend’s house. Ring the bell (do you remember those?), and then explain to them that you should hang out. The problem comes when they are on their phones, and you have no phone. Try picking your nails or chewing them until the moment passes.

3. Play real solitaire.

Solitaire can be played with a deck of cards, which is a physical version of a common pack of cards found on any iPhone version of solitaire. Playing the game this way is quite difficult! For one, you can’t keep checking your inbox for messages. You also have to use more than one finger to lift the cards. Sometimes you might find that you have run out of cards and the game stops. This is the time to pick up the cards that are in a pile and turn them over again.

Remember that you can’t “pause” real solitaire. If you try to, the cards might blow away or be stolen.

4. Replace Facebook updates with post-it notes

With no phone you won’t always be able to update your Facebook status. If you buy some post-it notes you can update your status wherever you are. If McGyver were a real person who lived today he would use this method as a last-minute solution. He would also most likely work at Builder’s Warehouse and listen to Kings of Leon.

Be careful what you leave though – there is no deleting these updates when in another location! For example, don’t leave updates like “I just ate a good pizza” because someone may read this a week later, and by that point it would be untrue, unless you happened to have eaten a good pizza just before then, too.

5. Give your opinions in more than 140 characters.

A blessing or a curse? In real life you can express your opinions in many sentences, which is good for people who like to talk, but bad for people who are very stupid. If you can’t update your Twitter feed from your phone, try tugging at a strangers arm and tell them what you think about Whitney Houston’s coffin (or whatever floats over your brain at that point). It might seem difficult to retweet things, but it’s fairly easy if you know how. For this you can just nod to yourself. Just nod to yourself while you think of what someone else said. This is good enough as a temporary measure.

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