I made a note last week of all the things that hawkers sell at traffic lights on my way to work…


These include:




Cell phone chargers (x 500 000)

Passport holders


Now, clearly people buy these things at one time or another (otherwise they wouldn’t be on sale), but can’t we organise this a bit better?

If we organised the hawkers by district we could create a “drive-through” market based on the layout of a supermarket.

The first wave of hawkers could start on the outskirts: Randburg, Louis Botha, Cresta, Braamfontein, etc. Just like in a supermarket, these guys will sell only fruit, veggies and bakery goods.

The next layer, moving closer to the suburbs, would have rice, pasta, sauces and such. If you take certain side routes then you’ll also find cereal, sugar, and flour. You should now be entering suburbia, but you’re still stuck at the large intersections and traffic lights where you’ll find meat and frozen meals.

The final section will be as you enter your friendly, middle-class suburb, which will have hawkers armed with sweets, chocolates and breath mints, allowing you to complete your whole shopping experience by the time you’ve got home.

You will have noticed that I have centred the whole plan around my house, which is near Rosebank. If you don’t live in the northern suburbs (like our friend Thembi) or if you don’t own a car (like Vogue van Hagen) then why are you even reading this blog?