Tag Archive: movies


Les Mis is a movie based on a play. Which is based on a book. Which is based on some stuff that probably happened.

 – Matt van Onselen –

Here are some of 2013’s most anticipated movies: Les Miserables, Iron Man 3, The Great Gatsby, Man of Steel and The Lone Ranger. Amongst these you will find a sequel, an adaptation from theatre to film, a film based on a book, a “relaunched” film franchise and a film inspired by a television show.

Now, I’m all for a trip to the movies to catch up with the familiar, but it does seem that remakes, sequels and re-imaginations are all Hollywood can produce these days. Are filmmakers beginning to run out of ideas?

The answer is no. It’s not the filmmakers who are lacking in imagination – it’s us!

Humans are suckers for the familiar. I know I am; that’s why I’ll probably go watch Die Hard 5: A Good Day to Die Hard – merely just to hear a reference to the meaningless catch phrase “Yipikaye, mother*cker”. That’s why I’ll go watch Superman 6: Man of Steel – because I want to see how the new Superman copes with tucking his underpants in for a change.

We want what we know – storylines, heroes, villains and dialogue. This explains the relief and joy expressed at James Bond 23: Skyfall, where the writers finally ditched any attempt to be original and reverted back to predictable one-liners and shoving all the old characters back into the franchise.

But all of this reminds me of the old man who has ordered the same ham and cheese sandwich every lunchtime for 40 years. Our insatiable appetite for what we already know robs us of opportunities to try something new. Isn’t that enough motivation to change?

Thanks to http://rwpike.blogspot.com/2011/02/bruce-willis-movie-spoof.html

Thanks to these guys

The demand for the familiar has gone to ridiculous lengths. This year, two anticipated movies are Top Gun and Jurassic Park – and they’re not even remakes! They’re old movies shown now in 3D, which, in case you haven’t experienced 3D, basically just means watching the movie with sunglasses on.

Then there was the Spiderman franchise, which seemed to be relaunched before the third movie was even off circuit. This is a new pressure placed on filmmakers – you better do a good job, or in one year’s time we’re going to show you how it’s really done.

It’s a shame, but it seems that most original films are now labeled as “art” films and appear on the Cinema Nouveau circuit. That means that “mainstream” audiences are only willing to deal with what they know. This in turns implies that we are a species that is only really happy when we order the ham and cheese sandwich every day.

Don’t get me wrong – I love ham and cheese. But let’s not become consumed by ham and cheese, making sequels involving ham and cheese, or “relaunching” ham and cheese for the new generation. From time to time, let’s look at the rest of the menu.

Following my blog last week, South African accents are hard to do, I thought it was about time to have a Top Ten about South African accents in television and movies. However, you should be warned that most attempts are shockingly bad, and you listen to them at your own risk. Because there are sometimes many SA accents in one movie or show, I have ranked them according to the movie or show they appeared in.

10. The Saint

After destroying the Batman franchise by playing the character as an autistic homosexual, Val Kilmer then moved on to humiliate another fictional hero, The Saint, by producing a number of implausible disguises and accents in order to have sex with Elizabeth Shue. Amongst these characters was someone who was supposed to be South African. We can only guess that the back story to this South African character was that he suffered massive brain injuries as a child after being hit by a freight train, and this explains his drawling, incomprehensible accent. This is about as believable as the cockney accent on SuperSport’s  Premier League adverts.

SA accent rating: -1 out of 10

9. CSI

This was the subject of the last blog. It’s hard to describe this accent, by which I mean it’s hard to describe it without using the words “amateur”, “untalented” and “blatantly not South African”.

 SA accent rating: 0 out of 10

8. Lee Mack

Lee Mack is an English comedian who clearly thinks he has nailed several accents to such a degree that he can present them on national television. He thinks the South African accent sounds like a record playing backwards. Interestingly, if you play his stand-up skit backwards it says “I WISH I WAS AS GOOD AS EDDIE IZZARD BUT WHAT CAN I DO”
SA  accent rating: 1 out of 10

7. Lethal Weapon

Mel Gibson became a household name by making several Lethal Weapon movies with Danny Glover. The bad guys in the second movie are meant to be South Africans, ruthless autocrats who design an ingenious and corrupt system to hoard Kruger Rands. There are two problems with the storyline: (1) All the South Africans are played by English actors who couldn’t get into Inspector Morse. The accents they affect sound like Australian mixed with a bit of Hitler (otherwise known as The Mel Gibson accent). (2) The idea that the apartheid government could be so ingenious is about as plausible as the star of this violent, misogynistic film creating a movie about Jesus and claiming to be all holy-like. Oh wait….SA accent rating: 2 out 10

6. Alan Partridge

For those of you that don’t know Alan Partridge, he is a fictional television and radio presenter (and the forerunner to The Office’s David Brent). Unfortunately the character played in this episode gets the SA accent horribly wrong. The whole joke rests on him pronouncing “You can’t” as “You c*nt.” I’ve never heard this mispronounciation in my life, and I have been called that word a lot. I think Alan does a better job himself when he mocks the SA character.SA accent rating: 3.5 out of 10

Visit BlackSheepTV tomorrow for Part 2!